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Mensa Invitational results.

Discussion in 'The Games Room' started by Dorset_Mike, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. Dorset_Mike

    Dorset_Mike Grumpy Old Fart

    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are the winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an ****hole.

    3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

    8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

    And the winners are:

    1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

    3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent..

    6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
     
  2. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Can we add more?

    If so:

    Buttox: Injection to posterior to reduce wrinkling. (As used by well-known TV hostess.
     
  3. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Fournication Eternal triangle plus one.
     
  4. john_g

    john_g Well-Known Member

    Ineffable: Beyond Gordon Ramsay's powers of description.

    Effluent: To be as rich as Gordon Ramsay.

    Effortless: To think as little about other people's feelings as Gordon Ramsay.
     
  5. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    goulish: highly-seasoned testicle stew
     
  6. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    diarhies: pop-star's crappy memoirs
     
  7. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Supplament: regretting last night booze-up
     
  8. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Bevy: Collective noun for group of journalists

    (Thaat's me for now - got to walk the dog - much to your collective relief no doubt)
     
  9. beejaybee

    beejaybee Marvin

    aspire - a pointy architectural feature infested by serpents

    aspirate - the speed at which a serpent travels

    aspiration - a food portion sufficient for a single meal for a single serpent

    aspirational - the serpentine equivalent of Mr. Spock.
     
  10. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Garmoyle: the ugly face of broadcasting
     
  11. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    colonic irritation: ill-advised application of rusty pipe
     
  12. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Virger vicar's unsullied assistant
     
  13. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    herroneous: Claude van Damme; Bruce Willis; Sylvester Stallone - oh, take your pick....
     
  14. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    falsyfication: inflatable bra
     
  15. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    virtuhosity: Roy Rogers' clever steed
     
  16. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    pursimonious: tight-fisted female
     
  17. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    stincture: vile-smelling ointment
     
  18. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    crudites: filthy habits
     
  19. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    Dictor: male venereologist
     
  20. miked

    miked Well-Known Member

    tergiverstation: all change at the next stop (and, btw, this is where I get off)
     

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