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A bit punny

Discussion in 'The Games Room' started by Dorset_Mike, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. Dorset_Mike

    Dorset_Mike Grumpy Old Fart

    I tried to catch some fog ... I mist.

    When chemists die they barium.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    A soldier that survived salt spray, mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.

    Then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian restaurant but I never met herbivore.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

    I included a section on puns in a theatrical performance. It was a play on words.

    They told me that I had Type A blood but it was a TypO

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was soft and pointed.

    PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

    There was a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.

    It was followed by a pop quiz.

    The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

    What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

  2. Zou

    Zou Well-Known Member

    Like crime in a multistorey carpark, wrong on so many levels.

    Love them though, despite familiarity. :)
  3. beatnik69

    beatnik69 Well-Known Member

    Don't you mean a fart in a lift? :D
  4. Zou

    Zou Well-Known Member

    Who does? That'd be quite cruel. :rolleyes:
  5. beatnik69

    beatnik69 Well-Known Member

    Wasn't me... honest. :eek:
  6. Atavar

    Atavar Well-Known Member

    People who don't like puns are just too Chicken to join in, those were Eggcellent.
  7. Dorset_Mike

    Dorset_Mike Grumpy Old Fart

    And that's no yolk!
  8. Zou

    Zou Well-Known Member

    Stop it, I'm cracking up.
  9. Sejanus.Aelianus

    Sejanus.Aelianus In the Stop Bath

    You know what they say: eggcelence ain't all it's cracked up to be.
  10. Dorset_Mike

    Dorset_Mike Grumpy Old Fart

    I think the chicken must have had a fowl reason to cross the road.
  11. mediaman

    mediaman Well-Known Member

    So why did the blind chicken cross the road ?
    To get to the "Bird's Eye" factory. !
  12. leepylee

    leepylee Well-Known Member

    Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
    He pasta way

    No matter how much you push the envelope
    It'll still be stationery

    It's not that the man did not know how to juggle
    He just didn't have the balls to do it

    England has no kidney bank
    But it does have a Liverpool

    When the smog lifts in Los Angeles
    U. C. L. A.

    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo ?
    One is really heavy the other is a little lighter

    I got a new job in a sexual health clinic
    I’m here at your cervix

    Please feel free to Groan now.
  13. mediaman

    mediaman Well-Known Member

    Sharing the hippo/zippo joke :)

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