1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Jokes

Discussion in 'The Games Room' started by mediaman, Jan 22, 2013.

  1. mediaman

    mediaman Well-Known Member

    Wee boy goes to his dad and asks how he got his name, the dad reply's that it as an anagram of his mothers favourite thing.
    The wee boy says "Thank you dad" and his dad says " No worries Alun , glad to help"
     
  2. Dorset_Mike

    Dorset_Mike Grumpy Old Fart

    I've been back to the doc again. I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
    He says I have Feefiphobia.
     
    beatnik69, dream_police and Zou like this.
  3. Zou

    Zou Well-Known Member

    "Orion's Belt is a big waist of space."

    Terrible joke. Only three stars.
     
    peterba and Geren like this.
  4. Craig20264

    Craig20264 Well-Known Member

    I take it you've already got your coat on............
     
    peterba and Zou like this.
  5. spinno

    spinno Well-Known Member

    he'll probably wake up with a Horsehead nebula on his pillow....
     
    peterba and Zou like this.
  6. Andrew Flannigan

    Andrew Flannigan Well-Known Member

    We don't need all this cometary on peoples' jokes.
     
    peterba likes this.
  7. spinno

    spinno Well-Known Member

    quite right... it eclipses the real meaning...
     
    Andrew Flannigan and peterba like this.
  8. LesleySM

    LesleySM Well-Known Member

    Solicitor phones one of his clients a multi millionaire art collector and says "I've got some bad news and some good news"

    The guy says "I'm having a really bad day so give me the good news first"

    "Your wife just paid £5000 for 2 pictures she thinks are worth between £15 and £20 and looking at them I think she's right"

    "That's my wife, she's an amazing businesswoman! That's really cheered me up! I can handle the bad news now so what is it?"

    "They're of you and your secretary"
     
    mediaman likes this.
  9. mediaman

    mediaman Well-Known Member

    A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

    While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

    The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

    As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

    The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

    After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

    He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

    Now completely nude, she purred at him,

    "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

    Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"

    Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..."
     
    dream_police and beatnik69 like this.
  10. Zou

    Zou Well-Known Member

    Scene: costume party

    A: what are you dressed as?
    B: can't you tell, I'm a harp!
    A: your costume is too small to be a harp...
    B: calling me a lyre?!
     
  11. beatnik69

    beatnik69 Well-Known Member

    Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks 'what are you supposed to be?', he replies 'I'm a tortoise'. 'What about her?', he replies... 'that's Michelle' :D
     
    peterba and Zou like this.

Share This Page