Friday Fun

[Fen]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot, over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to the different countries, this one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?"

"Ah," said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people. Seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities, it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they'll be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied very wisely,

"Wait till you see the bunch darn sarf!"

[Burgy]

And look who he gave them as Neighbours to the east

[Benchmark]

Indeed.

[Fen]

And look who he gave them as Neighbours to the east

Wales is to the West

[crymble]

Hmmm, there is a Scottish version of that joke....and I will let you guess who the butt of that version is!

K

[Fen]

Hmmm, there is a Scottish version of that joke....and I will let you guess who the butt of that version is!

The Scottish?

[crymble]

Good answer, but ultimately absolutely incorrect!

K

[chris000]

"Ah," said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people. Seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities, it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they'll be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."

So, even God is not perfect, he missed out the bit about a chip on both shoulders

[Burgy]

So, even God is not perfect, he missed out the bit about a chip on both shoulders

And the desire to move south and reminisce about how much nicer it is up north...

[TheFatControlleR]

So, even God is not perfect, he missed out the bit about a chip on both shoulders

And the desire to move south and reminisce about how much nicer it is up north...

Oh, don't, please. As a Northerner who lived South (for a quarter of a century before the housing cost nonsense got the better of him) I would despair at the number of knob-jockey Sweaties and Norverners who used to give it the polari about how wunnerful it was up t'North... Throttle the wasters.

[Burgy]

^^^ WHS ^^^