"No Yolk!" - says chicken.
No yolk! An unborn chicken had a narrow escape yesterday when it found itself in dire danger when two opposing vices each tried to claim it for their lunch. Speaking later, having been rescued from the very jaws of death by a passing eggistentialist who wishes to remain anonymous - the newly-born chick claimed it had been within an inch of being terminally scrambled. I can only offer my sincere thanks to my heroic rescuer . I owe my eggistance to his timely intervention. I would have thanked him properly but he was in a great hurry to get off, and positively eggcelerated away from the scene of the incident. But if he reads this I would like him to know that his eggexertions saved my life. Its no yolk starting life in a shell-suit, I can tell you! (For most newspapers this time of year is traditionally known as "The Silly Season")